In high school, my show choir director introduced me to a book called You Are Special. It's about a town of wooden people who get stars stuck on them if they do good things, and dots stuck on them if they do something that the community thinks is "bad". In it there is a boy who believes he isn't good enough because of what others think of him. He is covered in dots, and has no stars. He tries and tries to be the greatest he can be, but he still comes up short. He meets a girl who has no stickers on her at all, and wants to know how that is possible. She explains that the stickers only stick if you let them -- if you don't worry about what anyone else thinks about you, the stickers don't stick onto you.
Since I have heard that story, I have strived to become that little girl.
When I was younger, I always struggled with caring too much about what others thought of me. I wanted to be the girl that every single person loved and had zero problems with whatsoever. Reality is, that is not possible. No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to get everybody to like you. Believe me -- I know that from experience.
I tried for so long to get acceptance of everybody. Starting as early as elementary school, I distinctly remembering changing how I acted depending on who I was around. Did I want to do this? No. But I felt like I had to because I cared too much about what other people thought of me.
Who was I really? A girl who had a heart bigger than her body and wanted to spend every minute in school with her best friend who happened to have a disability. With the big heart came the craving for people to accept me. Unfortunately, being in the special education rooms and being interested in something that no one was familiar with is not the way to get people to love you. It does quite the opposite. You are looked at as different, and judgements start to be made. Throughout middle school and high school I was pinned as the girl who hangs out with kids who have disabilities. Looking back at it now, I absolutely love that that was what I was known for. What a great mark to leave on an incredible district. But back then? All I wanted was to have that label erased from my name and just be "normal".
My two first years of high school were the hardest. I was bullied daily, laughed at constantly by the same group of people. Even though this was happening, I did not let it interfere with my passion for people who have disabilities. I refused to let people's judgements sway me from doing what I loved. It did, however, kill my self esteem. I did not understand why people were so mean. Why did they care what I chose to do? It made no sense to me. But as the years went on, I decided to let their judgements go.
My junior and senior years of high school were spent free of the stress of worrying what others thought about me volunteering in the special education rooms. I chose to love myself enough to know that what I was doing was perfect and right for me -- and that is all that mattered.
Moral of that ridiculously long story, is that since I have chosen to love myself more than anything, I have been able to rid myself of the stress of worrying about what other people think of me in all areas. Yes, it is human nature to feel hurt when someone else doesn't agree with what you are doing. But when you are able to come back from that hurt by doing what is right for you, you become so much happier.
Don't ever let somebody else's opinion determine your self worth. Do what you want, do what you love, and do it without fear of other people's thoughts. Wear that outfit that you think you look great in. Sing that song you love. Follow your passion that's in your heart. Post that selfie that makes you feel good about yourself. Pour your heart out into a blog for everyone to see. Love yourself enough to do what makes your soul the most nourished, even if not everyone can understand it. And always remember, the stickers only stick if you let them.
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