What is Camp Munroe?

Chances are, if you know me or follow me on any type of social media, you are familiar with a camp called, Camp Munroe. This is a camp for people with disabilities, where they are given the tools and friendships to reach their full potential. I have volunteered at Munroe since I was 14, and have been working there since I turned 16.

But that doesn't even begin to explain what Camp Munroe is. No -- it doesn't even scratch the surface.

For me, Camp is a place where I can go and share my passion with the other staff and volunteers. It is a place of learning, as I am able to come together with people who share the same love for people with disabilities and learn things from each other as we bounce ideas off of one another and figure out how to make each person successful. It is a place where I am able to mentor young middle school and high school kids who have a love for people with disabilities and teach them all of the things that I have learned at Camp throughout the years. It is a home away from home where I can be my whole self and feel nothing but love from every single person in the building. Camp is a network of families whom I have gotten the privilege to meet and grow close to, due to the common love for their spectacular child. It is a safe haven where I have made lifelong friendships with not only other staff, but with participants of all ages. Camp Munroe is a place that overflows my heart with so much joy and love and passion, and allows me to spread all of that goodness onto each and every person who walks under that yellow canopy. 

But that's just me. 

To the kids who walk through the glass double doors every morning, Camp is everything. To the campers, it is a place where they are looked at as "normal". It is a safe place where they can go and know that they are going to be treated with all the respect that they deserve. To the campers, Munroe is a place of opportunity; a place where they are able to play and dance and swim and swing and cook and draw and paint and sing and do everything any child of any ability should be able to do. To the kids, it is a circle of trust that forms bonds that will never be broken. Friendships that will last a lifetime, with people who understand them on a deeper level than most. It is a week that is highlighted on their calendars, while they are counting down the days until it is finally here. Camp Munroe is the place where they can go and be "just another kid" - which is what every single child desires.

And to the parents of the campers?

Camp Munroe is a safety blanket. An environment where they are able to leave their child knowing with all the confidence in the world that their child will be safe. Not only safe, but their child will be given the opportunities to grow, while having so much fun. I overheard the other morning a parent saying, "This is the only place where I can leave and be able to do normal every day things without worrying about what is going on with my child". To this parent, Camp Munroe is the only place where they don't have to worry. To parent's, Camp is a place of opportunity where they know that their child will be given the tools to be set up for success in all areas. It is a place where they know that they will grow, and learn, and achieve all while having the time of their life. To parent's, Camp Munroe is a break. A break from having to worry, a break from having to stress. The parent's who walk with their child into the double glass doors are able to leave without them, and breathe, knowing their child is in safe hands.

Camp Munroe means so much to so many people. I assure you that every single person who has gotten the opportunity to walk into the doors under the yellow canopy, have come out as better people  because of Camp. People who laugh a little harder, smile a little brighter, and love a little harder.  I leave work in a better mood than I was in when I got there. How awesome is that?

Forever feeling blessed due to the opportunities that I have been given because of this magical place. 

One Year Post Surgery

Holy moly how has it already been a year?!?! One year ago I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into, and was completely fearless and ready to conquer this surgery. Thank goodness I didn't understand the extent of what was about to happen because I probably (definitely) would have locked myself in a room and never came out.

So, what has happened in a year with my back?! I went from crooked to straight in approximately six hours, came out two inches taller and had the most grueling two months of my life. I pretty much had to relearn how to sit up, stand up, walk, and do daily activities that I took for granted every moment of my entire life. It truly was an eye opening experience.

Things I can't do because of back surgery:
-Any intense physical movement (P90X type of things, but lets be honest I probably never would've gotten the motivation to do that anyway)
-Jet Ski, tubing, skiing, basically anything fun on the water
-Bending is hard
-Twisting is impossible
-Jump on a trampoline
-Lift anything heavier than 25 pounds (this won't be like that forever)
-Have bad posture (perks!!!!)
-Contact sports
-Roller derby (Grant told me to write this)
-Basically anything that could strain or hurt my back

I am so lucky that that list is so small and the list of things I can do is so large!!! This surgery is nothing compared to what some people go through every day. I am so thankful for my amazing doctors, family and friends that have supported me the past year throughout some of the toughest months of my life. This past year has been full of triumph and tribulations, because of my back, and just because, well, life! I have grown so much as a person -- literally and figuratively ;).

I go back to see my surgeon in about a month, where I will hopefully find out some of the restrictions I have currently will slowly start to diminish. I am beyond grateful for my good health and the amazing healing process I have gone through. I am also grateful that I was able to have this surgery and put my life in the hands of amazing doctors who have helped me so much throughout this entire process.

Cheers to one year of being part robot!!!!!!

 Before

 I do not remember taking this selfie

 Still in awe of all the love that was sent my way!!! I have the best people in my life!

 Spent way too many hours in that dang chair

 The result of having tiny veins

 The picture on the right is what my back looked like before surgery

Killing that scar game

"Are you sure?"

Today, a woman asked me what my major is. I immediately answered her by saying that I am an elementary special education major. Her response? "Oh..." While she looked at me like I had three heads, "Are you sure you want to do that?"

I was so taken back by her response that it took me a few seconds to process what she just said to me.  I understand that some people just don't get it, but I have never had someone look at me so strangely when I told them what my major is. I responded with saying how I am 150% sure that this is what I want to do, and gave her the surface level background on why. But this is what I really wanted to say:

Yes. I am sure I want to do that. I am 150% confident in my decision of going to school to be a change agent in children's lives. I am going to wake up every day and be excited to come to work, because I am so in love with my major. Are you able to do that? Do you wake up every day excited? Do you wake up every day knowing that you are going to make a difference? I'm going to. I am 150% sure that I want to be challenged every single day by the kids I work with. I want to learn from them as much as they learn from me. I am sure I want to face a new challenge every day. Every single day is going to be different than the day before, and different than the day after, and nothing excites me more. I am sure that I want to change the way children and adults look at people who have disabilities. I am going to go to work every day and show every single person just how much each child can achieve. I am sure that I want to help children break boundaries, and help them realize their own potential. I am sure, yes, I am 150% sure that I want to be a special education teacher.

I realize that my job is going to be hard, and tiring, and frustrating at points. But I also realize that my job is going to be so rewarding. So to the lady that looked at me like I was insane for going to school to be a special education teacher, I hope one day you find your purpose, because I know I have found mine.

Stickers Only Stick if You Let Them

In high school, my show choir director introduced me to a book called You Are Special. It's about a town of wooden people who get stars stuck on them if they do good things, and dots stuck on them if they do something that the community thinks is "bad". In it there is a boy who believes he isn't good enough because of what others think of him. He is covered in dots, and has no stars. He tries and tries to be the greatest he can be, but he still comes up short. He meets a girl who has no stickers on her at all, and wants to know how that is possible. She explains that the stickers only stick if you let them -- if you don't worry about what anyone else thinks about you, the stickers don't stick onto you.

Since I have heard that story, I have strived to become that little girl.

When I was younger, I always struggled with caring too much about what others thought of me. I wanted to be the girl that every single person loved and had zero problems with whatsoever. Reality is, that is not possible. No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to get everybody to like you. Believe me -- I know that from experience.

I tried for so long to get acceptance of everybody. Starting as early as elementary school, I distinctly remembering changing how I acted depending on who I was around. Did I want to do this? No. But I felt like I had to because I cared too much about what other people thought of me.

Who was I really? A girl who had a heart bigger than her body and wanted to spend every minute in school with her best friend who happened to have a disability. With the big heart came the craving for people to accept me. Unfortunately, being in the special education rooms and being interested in something that no one was familiar with is not the way to get people to love you. It does quite the opposite. You are looked at as different, and judgements start to be made. Throughout middle school and high school I was pinned as the girl who hangs out with kids who have disabilities. Looking back at it now, I absolutely love that that was what I was known for. What a great mark to leave on an incredible district. But back then? All I wanted was to have that label erased from my name and just be "normal".

My two first years of high school were the hardest. I was bullied daily, laughed at constantly by the same group of people. Even though this was happening, I did not let it interfere with my passion for people who have disabilities. I refused to let people's judgements sway me from doing what I loved. It did, however, kill my self esteem. I did not understand why people were so mean. Why did they care what I chose to do? It made no sense to me. But as the years went on, I decided to let their judgements go.

My junior and senior years of high school were spent free of the stress of worrying what others thought about me volunteering in the special education rooms. I chose to love myself enough to know that what I was doing was perfect and right for me -- and that is all that mattered.

Moral of that ridiculously long story, is that since I have chosen to love myself more than anything, I have been able to rid myself of the stress of worrying about what other people think of me in all areas. Yes, it is human nature to feel hurt when someone else doesn't agree with what you are doing. But when you are able to come back from that hurt by doing what is right for you, you become so much happier.

Don't ever let somebody else's opinion determine your self worth. Do what you want, do what you love, and do it without fear of other people's thoughts. Wear that outfit that you think you look great in. Sing that song you love. Follow your passion that's in your heart. Post that selfie that makes you feel good about yourself. Pour your heart out into a blog for everyone to see. Love yourself enough to do what makes your soul the most nourished, even if not everyone can understand it. And always remember, the stickers only stick if you let them.

Letter to me

Dear newly graduated from high school self,

You are about to embark on a 9 month adventure that you are not prepared for. At all. You think you are...but you're wrong.

Right now, you think that you are going to stay in touch with all of your high school friends, and keep those friendships close to your heart. You are wrong. You will stay in touch with a few friends from high school, and the ones that you do still talk to will be there for the rest of your life. The rest of them will not be. And that's okay. Please remember that. People will come and go in your life, that is one thing you will learn this year.

In fact, the most important person to you right now will leave your life in a few months. Nothing could have prepared you for that. It will suck and it will be sad and you will cry a lot...but I am here to tell you that you are going to be okay.

Not just okay, you are going to become better because of it. Stronger, happier, wiser, more independent -- better. You will learn to be brave, you will learn that it is okay to not be okay, you will learn that you do not need validation from anyone. Right when you think the world is ending, please remember that you will become so much better than you could have ever imagined -- in every single aspect of your life.

The people you meet this year will have a lasting impact on your life. Whether they are a teacher, or a sorority sister, you will be influenced and inspired by new faces that will teach you so much. Listen to them.

At some point, you will have a choice: to stay in and study or to go out with your friends. Go out. You are smart, you will do well on that test you have been studying for for hours. Have fun. You deserve it.

Also remember that at some point you will have the choice to go out, or stay in and binge watch Netflix. Stay in. Eat that whole pizza, watch a whole season of Grey's, lay in sweatpants all day. You work so hard and deserve some "me time".

This year you will realize how important your family is in your life. You will realize how much they have done for you the past 18 years, things including but not limited to: cooking you meals (you will miss that as you eat buttered noodles for the 10th night in a row), helping you study, being your counselor at every moment, making you laugh, taking care of you when you're sick, buying you groceries, waiting up for you to make sure you're okay, etc. Thank them. Go visit as often as possible, squeeze your brothers tight, go to lunch with your sister. Your family will cry with you at your worst, and celebrate with you at your best. Don't take them for granted.

I'm sorry to break it to you, but you are far from prepared for this 9 month adventure. The good news is that after this year, you will be on the path to become the person you have always strived to be.

Be brave, have fun, and remember that change is good.

From,
Your just finished your first year in college self


P.S. -- I would start learning about hockey ASAP

It's all about perspective

If you haven't heard about #thedress yet, then get out from the rock you're living under. This picture of a striped dress took the internet by storm yesterday, causing millions of arguments all over the world. The people who saw blue and black were convinced that what they were seeing was the truth, and the people who were seeing white and gold felt the same. The frustration of not understanding how the other group of people saw those certain colors is the exact same frustration that people living with autism feel on a daily basis.

People with autism see things, hear things, taste things, smell things, and feel things differently. Their life experience is completely different than ours in many many ways. Each person that has autism experience different things, but usually, each have an extreme sensory issue of some kind. Some can't touch certain things due to how it feels to them, some can't be in loud places due to how sensitive they are to pitch. The list goes on and on. And every day, they are looked at as different, and less than those who don't have the same sensory experiences that they do. All because of how their bodies react to certain senses.

Now, think back on the dress scenario. What color you see is most likely different than what your best friend sees, or what your mom sees, or what your little brother sees. Does that mean that they are less of a person because of it? Weird because of it? Should be made fun of because of it? No! It simply means that they are having a different sensory perception than you are.

Think about how frustrated the entire world got in a couple of hours because of the different colors everyone was seeing. That is how people with autism feel every single day of their lives. Hopefully the next time you see a person with autism, you have a better understanding of what they are going through, and can use that perspective that you now have to educate people around you.

Comfortable is safe, but change is worth it.

Comfortable is safe.

I have had a very hard time the last few months letting go of what is comfortable. I, like most people, am not a fan of change. At all. Change in my schedule, change in food, change in clothes, change in weather (why do I live in Nebraska?), change in people. I hate it all. But I have particularly found that change in relationships are one of the hardest things to understand, and to deal with. Especially when it's one sided.

When you leave high school and go to college, you change as a person. And so does everyone who you went to school with. The distance makes keeping every single high school friendship impossible. But it makes the ones that do stick around SO much stronger. I have lost a lot of friends since last May. And that was hard for me at first. I was comfortable with those people. I knew them, they knew me, it was easy. And losing those friendships and going to a school where I had to make completely new ones with strangers, terrified me. But the friendships I have made since the beginning of the year are the friends that will be in my wedding. Stepping outside of my comfort zone led to those friendships, and it led to me becoming a stronger person.

Change is also scary when something happens that alters your entire mindset of the future. When a person does something that hurts you in a way that will never be fixed. That is scary. And I wanted to run to what was comfortable, what was easy. Run back to that relationship even though I knew it was not going to be good for either of us. Run back to what was comfortable, because the thought of starting over was terrifying.

Comfortable is safe.

Change is hard, and it is scary, and it is sad, and it is frustrating, but it is worth it. I have learned more about myself in the past few months than I ever have before. Realizing that what was broken couldn't ever be fixed and that I had to let go of the past was heart wrenching but liberating. I have become my own hero, and learned to love myself without the help of anyone else. I have stepped outside of my comfort zone so many times, and have had so many experiences that I wouldn't have had if I were to have ran back to what was comfortable. It has led me to be a person that I always wanted to become. A person not held back by any limitations. A person that does not need any validation to feel beautiful. And along the way of becoming a person I always wanted to be, I met some amazing people who have made me so so happy.

So when something happens that terrifies you, that forces you to make a change, that rips your heart out, just know that it gets better. SO much better. The end is not the end, even though it feels like it is. It's just a new beginning. Don't run back to what's comfortable just because it is the easiest thing for you to do at the time. Challenge yourself, step outside of your box, because it will lead to better things.

Comfortable is safe, but change is worth it.