If you haven't heard about #thedress yet, then get out from the rock you're living under. This picture of a striped dress took the internet by storm yesterday, causing millions of arguments all over the world. The people who saw blue and black were convinced that what they were seeing was the truth, and the people who were seeing white and gold felt the same. The frustration of not understanding how the other group of people saw those certain colors is the exact same frustration that people living with autism feel on a daily basis.
People with autism see things, hear things, taste things, smell things, and feel things differently. Their life experience is completely different than ours in many many ways. Each person that has autism experience different things, but usually, each have an extreme sensory issue of some kind. Some can't touch certain things due to how it feels to them, some can't be in loud places due to how sensitive they are to pitch. The list goes on and on. And every day, they are looked at as different, and less than those who don't have the same sensory experiences that they do. All because of how their bodies react to certain senses.
Now, think back on the dress scenario. What color you see is most likely different than what your best friend sees, or what your mom sees, or what your little brother sees. Does that mean that they are less of a person because of it? Weird because of it? Should be made fun of because of it? No! It simply means that they are having a different sensory perception than you are.
Think about how frustrated the entire world got in a couple of hours because of the different colors everyone was seeing. That is how people with autism feel every single day of their lives. Hopefully the next time you see a person with autism, you have a better understanding of what they are going through, and can use that perspective that you now have to educate people around you.
Friday, February 27, 2015
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Comfortable is safe, but change is worth it.
Comfortable is safe.
I have had a very hard time the last few months letting go of what is comfortable. I, like most people, am not a fan of change. At all. Change in my schedule, change in food, change in clothes, change in weather (why do I live in Nebraska?), change in people. I hate it all. But I have particularly found that change in relationships are one of the hardest things to understand, and to deal with. Especially when it's one sided.
When you leave high school and go to college, you change as a person. And so does everyone who you went to school with. The distance makes keeping every single high school friendship impossible. But it makes the ones that do stick around SO much stronger. I have lost a lot of friends since last May. And that was hard for me at first. I was comfortable with those people. I knew them, they knew me, it was easy. And losing those friendships and going to a school where I had to make completely new ones with strangers, terrified me. But the friendships I have made since the beginning of the year are the friends that will be in my wedding. Stepping outside of my comfort zone led to those friendships, and it led to me becoming a stronger person.
Change is also scary when something happens that alters your entire mindset of the future. When a person does something that hurts you in a way that will never be fixed. That is scary. And I wanted to run to what was comfortable, what was easy. Run back to that relationship even though I knew it was not going to be good for either of us. Run back to what was comfortable, because the thought of starting over was terrifying.
Comfortable is safe.
Change is hard, and it is scary, and it is sad, and it is frustrating, but it is worth it. I have learned more about myself in the past few months than I ever have before. Realizing that what was broken couldn't ever be fixed and that I had to let go of the past was heart wrenching but liberating. I have become my own hero, and learned to love myself without the help of anyone else. I have stepped outside of my comfort zone so many times, and have had so many experiences that I wouldn't have had if I were to have ran back to what was comfortable. It has led me to be a person that I always wanted to become. A person not held back by any limitations. A person that does not need any validation to feel beautiful. And along the way of becoming a person I always wanted to be, I met some amazing people who have made me so so happy.
So when something happens that terrifies you, that forces you to make a change, that rips your heart out, just know that it gets better. SO much better. The end is not the end, even though it feels like it is. It's just a new beginning. Don't run back to what's comfortable just because it is the easiest thing for you to do at the time. Challenge yourself, step outside of your box, because it will lead to better things.
Comfortable is safe, but change is worth it.
I have had a very hard time the last few months letting go of what is comfortable. I, like most people, am not a fan of change. At all. Change in my schedule, change in food, change in clothes, change in weather (why do I live in Nebraska?), change in people. I hate it all. But I have particularly found that change in relationships are one of the hardest things to understand, and to deal with. Especially when it's one sided.
When you leave high school and go to college, you change as a person. And so does everyone who you went to school with. The distance makes keeping every single high school friendship impossible. But it makes the ones that do stick around SO much stronger. I have lost a lot of friends since last May. And that was hard for me at first. I was comfortable with those people. I knew them, they knew me, it was easy. And losing those friendships and going to a school where I had to make completely new ones with strangers, terrified me. But the friendships I have made since the beginning of the year are the friends that will be in my wedding. Stepping outside of my comfort zone led to those friendships, and it led to me becoming a stronger person.
Change is also scary when something happens that alters your entire mindset of the future. When a person does something that hurts you in a way that will never be fixed. That is scary. And I wanted to run to what was comfortable, what was easy. Run back to that relationship even though I knew it was not going to be good for either of us. Run back to what was comfortable, because the thought of starting over was terrifying.
Comfortable is safe.
Change is hard, and it is scary, and it is sad, and it is frustrating, but it is worth it. I have learned more about myself in the past few months than I ever have before. Realizing that what was broken couldn't ever be fixed and that I had to let go of the past was heart wrenching but liberating. I have become my own hero, and learned to love myself without the help of anyone else. I have stepped outside of my comfort zone so many times, and have had so many experiences that I wouldn't have had if I were to have ran back to what was comfortable. It has led me to be a person that I always wanted to become. A person not held back by any limitations. A person that does not need any validation to feel beautiful. And along the way of becoming a person I always wanted to be, I met some amazing people who have made me so so happy.
So when something happens that terrifies you, that forces you to make a change, that rips your heart out, just know that it gets better. SO much better. The end is not the end, even though it feels like it is. It's just a new beginning. Don't run back to what's comfortable just because it is the easiest thing for you to do at the time. Challenge yourself, step outside of your box, because it will lead to better things.
Comfortable is safe, but change is worth it.
Friday, February 20, 2015
I will never work a day in my life.
I have been blessed beyond measure with a passion. A passion that I am able to spend the rest of my life pursuing every single day...and calling it my "job". And that is why I will never work a day in my life.
Currently, I work every single day. I work at Camp Munroe, am a paraprofessional at Oakdale and nanny. All of those "jobs" have to do with working with people who have disabilities. My passion. I go to work every day and leave a better person than I was before. Most people go to work and leave being stressed out or in a bad mood. I leave work in a better mood than I was in before. I am SO lucky, and I wish other people understood that they could do this for themselves as well!
So many people go to college and major in something that they don't love just because it makes a lot of money, or just because it's easy, or just to simply get a degree. Believe me, I wish teachers made millions. Even like a hundred thousand would be nice! But they don't, and never will. And I'm okay with that. I would so much rather live life with a happy and full heart, doing what I love to do and becoming a better person, than live with an empty heart in a profession that makes a lot of money. Money makes life easier, but it does not make life happy. And I am all about happiness.
So find your happiness. Figure out what gets you excited, what gets you interested, what gets you passionate. And do something with it! I'm 19 years old and love working ridiculous hours a week because I don't consider it working. I'm changing lives, including my own, and what is more rewarding than that?
If there is one thing that I leave behind, let it be this: Find what makes your eyes light up, and never let it go. Stand up for what you believe in even if you're in a room full of people who are sitting down. I can't stress enough how important it is to find something that you love, because when you pour your heart into something, you have the ability to change so many lives.
Choose to not work a day in your life. Choose happiness.
Currently, I work every single day. I work at Camp Munroe, am a paraprofessional at Oakdale and nanny. All of those "jobs" have to do with working with people who have disabilities. My passion. I go to work every day and leave a better person than I was before. Most people go to work and leave being stressed out or in a bad mood. I leave work in a better mood than I was in before. I am SO lucky, and I wish other people understood that they could do this for themselves as well!
So many people go to college and major in something that they don't love just because it makes a lot of money, or just because it's easy, or just to simply get a degree. Believe me, I wish teachers made millions. Even like a hundred thousand would be nice! But they don't, and never will. And I'm okay with that. I would so much rather live life with a happy and full heart, doing what I love to do and becoming a better person, than live with an empty heart in a profession that makes a lot of money. Money makes life easier, but it does not make life happy. And I am all about happiness.
So find your happiness. Figure out what gets you excited, what gets you interested, what gets you passionate. And do something with it! I'm 19 years old and love working ridiculous hours a week because I don't consider it working. I'm changing lives, including my own, and what is more rewarding than that?
If there is one thing that I leave behind, let it be this: Find what makes your eyes light up, and never let it go. Stand up for what you believe in even if you're in a room full of people who are sitting down. I can't stress enough how important it is to find something that you love, because when you pour your heart into something, you have the ability to change so many lives.
Choose to not work a day in your life. Choose happiness.
Thursday, January 1, 2015
2015
I cannot believe that it is already 2015. So many big things happened in 2014: I graduated from high school, started going to college to pursue my lifelong dream, met so many new friends, lost lots of old ones, I learned what it means to truly love someone, and I experienced true heartbreak. I've grown so much as a person in one year and am extremely proud of who I have become.
I am extremely proud of who I have become, but I know I can become better.
This year I am going to strive to be happy. Finding happiness in all situations, even the really really sucky ones, is something that I've learned to do recently, and I have become stronger because of it. So in 2015, I will continue to find the light in places that seem like pure darkness, and make the bright moments even brighter.
I am going to try to impact as many lives as I can this year. Whether that be by writing down my thoughts and sharing them to the world, working with people who have disabilities, or just loving as much and as hard as I can, I want to make a difference. So many people have changed me and made me who I am, and I hope one day someone can say that I changed them.
I plan to be more grateful. I try so hard to let people know how much they mean to me, but sometimes life gets busy and I forget to thank the people in my life for all of the simple things they do for me on a daily basis. We too often take people for granted, and so my goal this year is to make sure that all the important people know just how important they are.
This year I will continue to pursue my passion, and share that passion to the world. I will advocate and speak up about everything I believe in, and try to make others understand why I do what I do. This has been something I have done since I was just learning what my home phone number was, and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.
I want to be less perfect. No, I do not think I am in any way, shape, or form, perfect. I have many flaws and am nowhere near perfection. But one of those flaws is my perfectionism attitude. This isn't a bad thing when it comes to things like school, but in other areas of my life it causes me extreme stress. I need to realize that life is not perfect. The perfect future I envisioned for myself a couple months ago is not what I envision for myself now. Things change, people change, and that's how life is always going to be. I need to start being less of a control freak and let things happen and go with the flow...this will be hard.
2014 was extremely good to me. I learned more about myself in the past year than ever before. I have become stronger and more independent. I have loved and have been loved by countless numbers of people that I'll forever be thankful for. But I want 2015 to be better. I want to become better. The cliche quote that states "New year, New me" does not apply to this situation. I don't want to change who I am. I like who I am. I just want to become a better version of myself. The best version of myself possible.
New year, Better me.
I am extremely proud of who I have become, but I know I can become better.
This year I am going to strive to be happy. Finding happiness in all situations, even the really really sucky ones, is something that I've learned to do recently, and I have become stronger because of it. So in 2015, I will continue to find the light in places that seem like pure darkness, and make the bright moments even brighter.
I am going to try to impact as many lives as I can this year. Whether that be by writing down my thoughts and sharing them to the world, working with people who have disabilities, or just loving as much and as hard as I can, I want to make a difference. So many people have changed me and made me who I am, and I hope one day someone can say that I changed them.
I plan to be more grateful. I try so hard to let people know how much they mean to me, but sometimes life gets busy and I forget to thank the people in my life for all of the simple things they do for me on a daily basis. We too often take people for granted, and so my goal this year is to make sure that all the important people know just how important they are.
This year I will continue to pursue my passion, and share that passion to the world. I will advocate and speak up about everything I believe in, and try to make others understand why I do what I do. This has been something I have done since I was just learning what my home phone number was, and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.
I want to be less perfect. No, I do not think I am in any way, shape, or form, perfect. I have many flaws and am nowhere near perfection. But one of those flaws is my perfectionism attitude. This isn't a bad thing when it comes to things like school, but in other areas of my life it causes me extreme stress. I need to realize that life is not perfect. The perfect future I envisioned for myself a couple months ago is not what I envision for myself now. Things change, people change, and that's how life is always going to be. I need to start being less of a control freak and let things happen and go with the flow...this will be hard.
2014 was extremely good to me. I learned more about myself in the past year than ever before. I have become stronger and more independent. I have loved and have been loved by countless numbers of people that I'll forever be thankful for. But I want 2015 to be better. I want to become better. The cliche quote that states "New year, New me" does not apply to this situation. I don't want to change who I am. I like who I am. I just want to become a better version of myself. The best version of myself possible.
New year, Better me.
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Three Weeks Post Surgery
It's hard to believe that Tuesday will be three weeks post-surgery! I've been home for two weeks today, and the recovery process has been long but very successful!
The car ride home from the hospital was ROUGH. I got extremely car sick and could not get comfortable. Getting in the car in the first place was quite the process. Being tall and not being able to bend at all makes it a little difficult to maneuver into a car - but I did it! I was so happy to be back home and get out of the car. I walked as fast as I could (which is about turtle speed) into the house and collapsed into my handy dandy recovery recliner where I would be staying for the next week and a half.
The first couple of nights at home were rough. I was extremely uncomfortable all the time. Every day got a little bit easier and by Wednesday (I got home Sunday) I was able to shower with the help from my mama! Side note: Don't EVER take for granted the ability to shower easily because it is HARD with two rods and a bunch of screws in your back. I feel like I ran a marathon every time I shower. I miss when things were easy!
For a good week and a half I sat at home and did a whole lot of nothing! Lots of people visited to keep me company (thank you to everyone who did!). I went on lots of little walks as much as my body would let me. I tried to get my appetite up and ween off of the pain pills. I watched lots of TV and Netflix. Read lots of books. That's pretty much it. My mom has been a saint and has kept me entertained these past few weeks which has been so great. (Thanks mom love you!)
My first venture out of the house was to a doctors appointment on the 30th. I had been home for a week. It was just a normal after surgery check up, and then they had to check my blood to see if the transfusion worked. It was 11.1, which is a lot better than 8, which is where I was at in the hospital. So in retrospect, the transfusion worked. I have to go back to have them check it again at the end of the month because 11.1 isn't the "perfect" number, so if it isn't up to the number my doctor would like I have to take iron supplements.
I started slowly getting out of the house a couple days after my doctors appointment. I went to Kohls and Bed Bath and Beyond to get things for my dorms. Then the next day I went to Target to get more stuff for my dorm. (I'm gonna have a cute dorm room). And then my first BIG outing I had was on July 3rd! I went to the annual Happy Hollow fourth of July celebration. I went at about 7 and made it all the way to fireworks that ended at 10:30. Was I uncomfortable? Yes. But I NEEDED to get out of the house, so I got through it! It was a fun night and I'm glad I decided to go. Unfortunately, I did not have a good day on the fourth of July. My pain comes in waves. Some days are way worse than others, and it just so happens that my body decided to hate me on the fourth! I tried to get out and see fireworks with Blake but it didn't end up going so well and I ended up at home going to bed at about 7. Rad life, I know.
It's now the 6th and I'm feeling good! I only take pain pills if I REALLY need them because I don't like the side effects. So basically I'm off pain pills and only taking tylenol a couple times a day if I need it. I got through the toughest weeks, so it can only go up from here. Everything is harder when you have no back muscles and can't bend at all but you figure it out! I'm going to have killer thigh muscles by the end of this summer. I'm slowly getting back to my normal life before surgery, and that makes me really excited! It's a looooong process but it gets easier every day.
The car ride home from the hospital was ROUGH. I got extremely car sick and could not get comfortable. Getting in the car in the first place was quite the process. Being tall and not being able to bend at all makes it a little difficult to maneuver into a car - but I did it! I was so happy to be back home and get out of the car. I walked as fast as I could (which is about turtle speed) into the house and collapsed into my handy dandy recovery recliner where I would be staying for the next week and a half.
The first couple of nights at home were rough. I was extremely uncomfortable all the time. Every day got a little bit easier and by Wednesday (I got home Sunday) I was able to shower with the help from my mama! Side note: Don't EVER take for granted the ability to shower easily because it is HARD with two rods and a bunch of screws in your back. I feel like I ran a marathon every time I shower. I miss when things were easy!
For a good week and a half I sat at home and did a whole lot of nothing! Lots of people visited to keep me company (thank you to everyone who did!). I went on lots of little walks as much as my body would let me. I tried to get my appetite up and ween off of the pain pills. I watched lots of TV and Netflix. Read lots of books. That's pretty much it. My mom has been a saint and has kept me entertained these past few weeks which has been so great. (Thanks mom love you!)
My first venture out of the house was to a doctors appointment on the 30th. I had been home for a week. It was just a normal after surgery check up, and then they had to check my blood to see if the transfusion worked. It was 11.1, which is a lot better than 8, which is where I was at in the hospital. So in retrospect, the transfusion worked. I have to go back to have them check it again at the end of the month because 11.1 isn't the "perfect" number, so if it isn't up to the number my doctor would like I have to take iron supplements.
I started slowly getting out of the house a couple days after my doctors appointment. I went to Kohls and Bed Bath and Beyond to get things for my dorms. Then the next day I went to Target to get more stuff for my dorm. (I'm gonna have a cute dorm room). And then my first BIG outing I had was on July 3rd! I went to the annual Happy Hollow fourth of July celebration. I went at about 7 and made it all the way to fireworks that ended at 10:30. Was I uncomfortable? Yes. But I NEEDED to get out of the house, so I got through it! It was a fun night and I'm glad I decided to go. Unfortunately, I did not have a good day on the fourth of July. My pain comes in waves. Some days are way worse than others, and it just so happens that my body decided to hate me on the fourth! I tried to get out and see fireworks with Blake but it didn't end up going so well and I ended up at home going to bed at about 7. Rad life, I know.
It's now the 6th and I'm feeling good! I only take pain pills if I REALLY need them because I don't like the side effects. So basically I'm off pain pills and only taking tylenol a couple times a day if I need it. I got through the toughest weeks, so it can only go up from here. Everything is harder when you have no back muscles and can't bend at all but you figure it out! I'm going to have killer thigh muscles by the end of this summer. I'm slowly getting back to my normal life before surgery, and that makes me really excited! It's a looooong process but it gets easier every day.
The recovery recliner
Before and After! I was still super swollen when the picture on the right was taken. Now you can see my shoulder blades so that's good!
Cooper has been my cuddle buddy the past two weeks.
I was sick of having frizzy curly hair so Emily helped me straighten it. That's what best friends are for right?
Third of July, going to Happy Hollow.
Rocking that scar.
My attempt at going out on the 4th
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Scoliosis Diaries: Hospital
I made it!
My surgery was on Tuesday, June 17 at 8 AM. I had to report there at 5:30 to get all checked in. I was a nervous wreck the night before and morning of. Couldn't stop shaking! I just wanted to get it over with. My mom, dad, step-dad, step-mom, best friend Emily and boyfriend Blake all came along with me at 5 to see me before I had to go into surgery. It was nice having them there to ease my anxiety a little bit. The last thing I remember about that morning was them pulling me into the OR room where there were a bunch of people getting stuff ready. It was also really cold. Then someone put an "oxygen" mask over me and told me to take some really deep breaths, and then I was out. I don't think that mask really had oxygen in it. :)
The surgery took 5 and a half hours. I don't remember being in the recovery room at all. I kind of remember being in my private hospital room but not a lot of it. My grandparents were there as well as my sister, and my friend Danielle, her boyfriend Alex and sister Julia. Everyone who came in the morning was still there as well! Apparently I was being really funny and "polite" when I was talking to them. I don't remember! You'll have to ask my parents details about what I was saying! :) I do remember not being able to open my eyes and my back really hurting! They taped my eyes shut and so they were SO dry and I could not open them at all. It was so frustrating. I kept having my sister come up and look in them because I swore something was in them, but there wasn't! They were just dry. So I was talking to everyone with my eyes closed. My face was super swollen because I was laying on my stomach for almost six hours, so everyone said my lips looked like Angelina Jolie's times 10. Thankfully there are no pictures to prove it! :)
The first night was pretty rough because the nurses came in every 20 minutes to check on my vitals and stuff. It was impossible to sleep. I also had a morphine drip and because of that I had to wear a thing that looks like an oxygen mask so it could measure my CO2 levels to make sure I was not overly sedated. It was so annoying and beeped every single time I started to fall asleep because my breathing got shallow. It was awful. I had to wear that until my morphine drip went away which wasn't until yesterday! Not fun. In the middle of the night on Tuesday they came and made me stand up for the first time. OW. It was very uncomfortable and hurt A LOT. I got super dizzy and sick to my stomach. I was not very happy, but luckily it has gotten a lot easier.
The next three days were pretty much all similar. I started being able to get out of my bed and walk independently. I even got to shower (with the help of an OT) so that felt amazing. It was hard getting used to walking with a straight back and aligned hips, but every day it got a little bit easier! I have had amazing people visit me every day which made my days so much happier!! Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who came and visited and brought balloons or sent flowers or even FISH! (Em and B you rock). I appreciate all of you so much!
The one scary thing that did happen was on Wednesday night. The nurse got me up at about 3:30 to walk. I was NOT having it. I didn't feel good and knew I just needed to sleep. But she pushed me to walk anyways. So I got up and then told them that I wanted to go into the bathroom because all I really wanted to do was sit. So I was in there, and then all of a sudden I got super hot and felt really weird. I called for my mom, and the next second I was in a chair with five nurses around me. I passed out in the bathroom. This is pretty normal for a person who just had spine surgery because of all the strain it has on your body but it still was really scary!! Glad that was the only time that happened.
I was supposed to be out of the hospital by Saturday (today) but unfortunately that did not happen. My blood counts are low, which is causing me to become very light headed and dizzy every time I get up. A normal blood count number is a 12 and my blood count right now is at an 8. After discussing this with the doctors and my surgeon and nurses and parents, we have decided that if my number does not increase Sunday morning, then I will be getting a blood transfusion. This will help me feel better in the long run. Either way, I will be going home tomorrow so I am excited for that! I am sick of sitting in a hospital room!
Overall, my surgery went well. And it hurts. A lot. And I'm in a lot of pain pretty much all day. But it's going to get better! I have also gotten taller! I think every single nurse that has worked with me has mentioned how tall I am. I hate to say it but I think I am pretty close to 5'11-6'...that's tall. But I would rather be taller and straighter than shorter and curvier!
It is going to be a l o n g road to recovery but I am ready to conquer it! Thank you all for the happy thoughts and prayers being sent my way! It has helped so much knowing that I have so many people that are thinking about me!
My surgery was on Tuesday, June 17 at 8 AM. I had to report there at 5:30 to get all checked in. I was a nervous wreck the night before and morning of. Couldn't stop shaking! I just wanted to get it over with. My mom, dad, step-dad, step-mom, best friend Emily and boyfriend Blake all came along with me at 5 to see me before I had to go into surgery. It was nice having them there to ease my anxiety a little bit. The last thing I remember about that morning was them pulling me into the OR room where there were a bunch of people getting stuff ready. It was also really cold. Then someone put an "oxygen" mask over me and told me to take some really deep breaths, and then I was out. I don't think that mask really had oxygen in it. :)
The surgery took 5 and a half hours. I don't remember being in the recovery room at all. I kind of remember being in my private hospital room but not a lot of it. My grandparents were there as well as my sister, and my friend Danielle, her boyfriend Alex and sister Julia. Everyone who came in the morning was still there as well! Apparently I was being really funny and "polite" when I was talking to them. I don't remember! You'll have to ask my parents details about what I was saying! :) I do remember not being able to open my eyes and my back really hurting! They taped my eyes shut and so they were SO dry and I could not open them at all. It was so frustrating. I kept having my sister come up and look in them because I swore something was in them, but there wasn't! They were just dry. So I was talking to everyone with my eyes closed. My face was super swollen because I was laying on my stomach for almost six hours, so everyone said my lips looked like Angelina Jolie's times 10. Thankfully there are no pictures to prove it! :)
The first night was pretty rough because the nurses came in every 20 minutes to check on my vitals and stuff. It was impossible to sleep. I also had a morphine drip and because of that I had to wear a thing that looks like an oxygen mask so it could measure my CO2 levels to make sure I was not overly sedated. It was so annoying and beeped every single time I started to fall asleep because my breathing got shallow. It was awful. I had to wear that until my morphine drip went away which wasn't until yesterday! Not fun. In the middle of the night on Tuesday they came and made me stand up for the first time. OW. It was very uncomfortable and hurt A LOT. I got super dizzy and sick to my stomach. I was not very happy, but luckily it has gotten a lot easier.
The next three days were pretty much all similar. I started being able to get out of my bed and walk independently. I even got to shower (with the help of an OT) so that felt amazing. It was hard getting used to walking with a straight back and aligned hips, but every day it got a little bit easier! I have had amazing people visit me every day which made my days so much happier!! Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who came and visited and brought balloons or sent flowers or even FISH! (Em and B you rock). I appreciate all of you so much!
The one scary thing that did happen was on Wednesday night. The nurse got me up at about 3:30 to walk. I was NOT having it. I didn't feel good and knew I just needed to sleep. But she pushed me to walk anyways. So I got up and then told them that I wanted to go into the bathroom because all I really wanted to do was sit. So I was in there, and then all of a sudden I got super hot and felt really weird. I called for my mom, and the next second I was in a chair with five nurses around me. I passed out in the bathroom. This is pretty normal for a person who just had spine surgery because of all the strain it has on your body but it still was really scary!! Glad that was the only time that happened.
I was supposed to be out of the hospital by Saturday (today) but unfortunately that did not happen. My blood counts are low, which is causing me to become very light headed and dizzy every time I get up. A normal blood count number is a 12 and my blood count right now is at an 8. After discussing this with the doctors and my surgeon and nurses and parents, we have decided that if my number does not increase Sunday morning, then I will be getting a blood transfusion. This will help me feel better in the long run. Either way, I will be going home tomorrow so I am excited for that! I am sick of sitting in a hospital room!
Overall, my surgery went well. And it hurts. A lot. And I'm in a lot of pain pretty much all day. But it's going to get better! I have also gotten taller! I think every single nurse that has worked with me has mentioned how tall I am. I hate to say it but I think I am pretty close to 5'11-6'...that's tall. But I would rather be taller and straighter than shorter and curvier!
It is going to be a l o n g road to recovery but I am ready to conquer it! Thank you all for the happy thoughts and prayers being sent my way! It has helped so much knowing that I have so many people that are thinking about me!
Before surgery...just a little nervous!
Pre-Op
Look at my pretty new accessory!
Surgeon writing on me
After surgery
My big bandage covering the scar
First time sitting up
Love my pillow pet!
Look at that posture!
First time walking!
Emily Rose!
Yes I am coloring in a frozen coloring book
I slept...a lot.
My room number was 818. Coincidence that my favorite two numbers are 8 and 18?!
Look at all that prettiness!! Love!!
Shoutout to Blake for being there every day!
My room
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Scoliosis Diaries: One Week
One week until my surgery date! It's all becoming very real. Yesterday I had my appointment with my back doctor who will be doing the surgery, Dr. McClellan. Today I had to go to my pediatrician to get a pre-surgery physical and blood work done!
At my appointment with my doctor, I had to get a CT scan of my back and X-Rays. The X-Rays were for the bending tests. This shows my doctor how flexible my spine is, and how easy it will be to put two rods in it! My spine happens to be very flexible and so he says that it will be a "beautiful fusion", whatever that means :). I got to ask him all sorts of questions at this appointment. He told me that I will be at the hospital for three to four nights. I will have an OT come twice a day and a PT come once a day. They will teach me how to become independent again. He said that visitors and treats and teddy bears and balloons are welcome so don't be shy ;). (Maybe not the first or second day though I might be a little loopy!) He also talked about how after I get out of the hospital I will feel kind of dead for about two weeks, but then I will start feeling like my normal self again! This appointment eased my fears a little bit and made me slightly less anxious, so I suppose that's good!
At my pediatrician's office today it was just a normal physical and blood work. I am all healthy and good to go! Getting blood drawn is NOT my favorite thing but I guess I better get used to it.
I can't believe it's only a week away! Prayers and happy thoughts sent my way are much appreciated :)
At my appointment with my doctor, I had to get a CT scan of my back and X-Rays. The X-Rays were for the bending tests. This shows my doctor how flexible my spine is, and how easy it will be to put two rods in it! My spine happens to be very flexible and so he says that it will be a "beautiful fusion", whatever that means :). I got to ask him all sorts of questions at this appointment. He told me that I will be at the hospital for three to four nights. I will have an OT come twice a day and a PT come once a day. They will teach me how to become independent again. He said that visitors and treats and teddy bears and balloons are welcome so don't be shy ;). (Maybe not the first or second day though I might be a little loopy!) He also talked about how after I get out of the hospital I will feel kind of dead for about two weeks, but then I will start feeling like my normal self again! This appointment eased my fears a little bit and made me slightly less anxious, so I suppose that's good!
At my pediatrician's office today it was just a normal physical and blood work. I am all healthy and good to go! Getting blood drawn is NOT my favorite thing but I guess I better get used to it.
I can't believe it's only a week away! Prayers and happy thoughts sent my way are much appreciated :)
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